\\ General updates on life - an open thread //

An open forum for general discussion and random topics.
musicmonkey
Founder
Posts: 2517
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:12 am
Favourite TV Show: The Leftovers
Quote: Nevermind, it's pointless
Location: Vancouver, BC
Contact:

Re: \\ General updates on life - an open thread //

Unread postby musicmonkey » Fri Aug 17, 2007 9:13 am

Hi Kimo,

You are not missing any other posts here. Summer is very slow as many people are on vacation or doing things outdoors in their spare time. Remember too that Christendom is very diverse and it can be challenging trying to navigate everything posted here over the years. Feel free to reply to an old topic of interest to you or ask a question if you don't understand something. There haven't been any posts in years regarding marriage issues. You might want to check out The Marriage Bed Forums if that's your area of expertise.

Thanks for the reminder to work on becoming more close with my family. My mother has hearing difficulties so the phone isn't the best. She likes email though. I'll try to email her more often. As for my extended family, if I email them, they take forever to reply and we may exchange a few emails back and forth but then they stop replying. Some people only go to church on Easter and Christmas. Well, sadly, my extended family only makes an effort to talk to me at weddings and funerals but not for my lack of effort.

As for not fitting in here, welcome to the club. I don't fit in here, either. In fact. I have chatted with countless members here over the years who pretty much have all said the same thing (i.e. they don't like the topics or can't relate; they don't know anyone other than me; they prefer to read but don't want to write anything here; they want friends but don't want to make an effort; they're busy; etc.).

In short, humans increasingly don't know how to relate to those who are different from us and pour our lives into others. There's very little difference between Christians and non-Christians. We're all largely influenced by the culture and media's brainwashing us into wanting instant gratification with little or no effort. We want authentic community and loyal friendships but run at the first sign of being uncomfortable. We're selfish, greedy and afraid of being known or investing ourselves into another's life. The old nature is strong and the new nature is barely visible at times.

A friend of mine here is reading a new book called Justice in the Burbs: Being the Hands of Jesus Wherever You Live. I look forward to his feedback on it.

As with our physical families, it also takes effort to draw close to our Christian family. I think one huge problem within Christendom is that we have such a big "wish list" of what we want that we forget that it's not about us and our wishes, it's about meeting others where they are. It seems like we all want good friends but don't know how to be a good friend.

Sometimes it takes extra effort to love those we don't even really like or get along with. This is something I have been going through lately. If we're called to love our enemies and those who persecute us but can't even make an effort to like our fellow Christian brothers and sisters who are not persecuting us, how are we ever going to love our enemies, nevermind God. Yesterday I saw a bumper stick that read: Spiritual people inspire me. Religious people scare me. What good is it praying for salvation but being unwilling to learn how to love from Jesus, the Teacher of Love?

When I look at all the non-Christians I know, I often see glimpses of Jesus in them, even though they have rejected Christianity as a religion. This one fellow I know has become a pagan. He often walks barefoot in the city streets and busses just to remind him of his fragile humanity and to be more compassionate to others. Things like that make me really question who knows Christ more, the compassionate pagan or the unloving church-goer. It almost gives new meaning to the verse: The meek shall inherit the Earth.

Christian love is not some fuzzy feeling caused by a chemical reaction when we meet people we like. Christian love is a choice. Even those we have little in common with we can choose to get to know better. Or as Francis of Assisi wrote, "O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand". I know that I need to learn better how to both forgive those who have hurt me and to love people I don't like.

David

kimo
Contributor
Posts: 24
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 10:04 pm
Location: Spokane,Wa
Contact:

Re: \\ General updates on life - an open thread //

Unread postby kimo » Fri Aug 17, 2007 10:03 pm

Hello David,,,,,thanks for the reply..You really know how to put things into words. I was really referring to the area of mens issues,,i know you won't let anyone there unless the've been around for awhile, but what i don't understand is, you say [Loveing each other as brothers--even with all our ugly bits--], i understand that maybe you've had trouble in the past but if someone gets out of line then warn them and if they keep up then ban them from the forum but just don't exclude everyone from being able to read whats on mens hearts and not being able to respond.....What you have is a probation,,thats ok but if a person breaks it then they are banned for violating it if you have rules set down....

I respect your rules and would never do anything to break them, but i'm getting to old to be on probation any more by anyone....That was a good site you told me about and i will probably read it some,,,but i have done a lot of counseling in other areas also,,,mostly mens health..I try to guide men in the right direction to get help with men's health issues...

I want friends and i do make the effort to be a friend, i am always open and that is why i post my e-mail address for anyone to feel free to write me anytime....Like i said,i am house bound most of the time taking care of my wife and so my out is having friends on the net,,,,,like you...if you want me as a friend then you will be stuck with me,,but i must warn you// i like to joke around a lot.. I like to get e-mails from my friends too..

I'll stick around if you want a friend, thats all i really want,,,to be included..blessings to you,,,,,,kimo

musicmonkey
Founder
Posts: 2517
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:12 am
Favourite TV Show: The Leftovers
Quote: Nevermind, it's pointless
Location: Vancouver, BC
Contact:

Re: \\ General updates on life - an open thread //

Unread postby musicmonkey » Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:02 pm

kimo wrote:Hello David,,,,,thanks for the reply..You really know how to put things into words.


You're very welcome and thank you back.

kimo wrote:I was really referring to the area of mens issues


The Men's Issues area is already public. There are two areas within the Men's Issues area for Sexuality. One is also public and one is private. To post in the public one, you need to log out and post as a "Guest". Nobody has posted in any of these forums for a long time.

kimo wrote:i understand that maybe you've had trouble in the past but if someone gets out of line then warn them and if they keep up then ban them from the forum but just don't exclude everyone from being able to read whats on mens hearts and not being able to respond


Thanks for the suggestion. That's how this site began. Unfortunately, it pretty much became my full time job to watch over these forums and I burned out. I did warn and ban a few members and half the group stopped visiting because they did not agree with the decisions of myself and the moderators. At one point, it got so bad that every post was regarding sexuality and posts regarding faith, discipleship, encouragement, arts, music and postmodern culture were ignored. At one point I even received hostile emails from members requesting that music and arts not be discussed. Many members also became very angry at me for moving their posts around into more appropriate categories. It got so bad that I was accused of censorship. Anyway, there is tremendous water under the bridge here. The storm is long over. The fallow fields have been resting and sitting for a few seasons awaiting new growth. A handful of members still read and participate with the occasional new member like yourself joining.

If things pick up maybe we can try something like that again but at this point, we are out of donations and I am paying the monthly bill myself. I can barely afford my own rent and food, so we really need to see both donations increase and also participation by current and new members or guests. We're not an active group anymore. Feel free to post what is on your heart and maybe others will reply.

kimo wrote:.....What you have is a probation,,thats ok but if a person breaks it then they are banned for violating it if you have rules set down....


The only restricted areas deal with sexuality and personal prayer requests. All other areas are public. I like to call is privacy and protecting my dear friends but respect that others might view it as probation. Eitherway, as I have mentioned several times already, nobody has posted in the restricted areas in a long time.

kimo wrote:I respect your rules and would never do anything to break them


Cool, thanks.

kimo wrote:i'm getting to old to be on probation any more by anyone....


I'm sorry you feel that way. There is such a tremendous wealth of information and topics here to choose from.[/quote]

kimo wrote:That was a good site you told me about and i will probably read it some,,,but i have done a lot of counseling in other areas also,,,mostly mens health..I try to guide men in the right direction to get help with men's health issues...


Thanks and great!

kimo wrote:I'll stick around if you want a friend, thats all i really want,,,to be included


I hope you do stick around and let me reassure you that you are very welcome here.

kimo
Contributor
Posts: 24
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 10:04 pm
Location: Spokane,Wa
Contact:

Re: \\ General updates on life - an open thread //

Unread postby kimo » Fri Aug 31, 2007 10:37 pm

Well,,its aug 31st and finally it's cooling off here and the dust is getting settled down,,had a good thunder and rain storm this evening, badly needed..

Hope this finds everyone doing ok, just taking it one day at a time here , my wife is doing ok and some better. Thanks for your prayers.......kimo

musicmonkey
Founder
Posts: 2517
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:12 am
Favourite TV Show: The Leftovers
Quote: Nevermind, it's pointless
Location: Vancouver, BC
Contact:

Re: \\ General updates on life - an open thread //

Unread postby musicmonkey » Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:47 pm

so today i met a women where i work who is in her late 50s and thinks CNN is republican-right-wing. hehe. she takes care of children-at-risk and we had a candid conversation at lunch about 17 year old mothers and 12 year old fathers. it was quite an eye-opener.


Return to “Open Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests